The Dark Sunshine

I am writing this piece as the first rays of the polar sun stream through the window of my room, signalling the end of the polar night. All of Antarctica including our station is delirious with joy. There is a new energy in the atmosphere. The last leg of our wintering has started. But this day is the darkest day of my life. Our dearest dog, Nuts passed away yesterday, 22 July 2008 at 4 PM. I was not with her physically when she breathed her last. But I was talking to my parents inquiring about her health when the end came. This piece is dedicated to the memory of our dearest Nuts (or Nathu as we used to fondly call her).

Dear Nuts,

You came like a spring in our lives, showering your love & warmth on us, adding a purpose to our dull, boring lives. I remember the first time I saw you - a tiny creature at the airport lugging along with mummy. Nice and cuddly. You fitted in the palm of my hand as we went home. A bundle of joy you turned out to be. Jumping all over the place, tearing our slippers, socks and clothes and whatever else you came across. The basketball that we brought for you lay in tatters soon. But that ball was the love of your life and you were our life.

The numerous 'haddis' you gulped and the way you drooled at the mention of 'bone' and 'chicken' will always be firmly etched in our memory.

I will miss the way you licked my face when I was in bed and the 'totli bhasha' we used with you, just as we would with a child. For us you were always a child. 'chhana (Pillow) dance', 'nahai- nahai karo', 'kana kao kana', 'dai khao', 'bhaunki bhaunki karo' and lots more words and phrases were added to our vocabulary. The way you used to do 'kheli-kheli' with me whenever you were in the mood. That was universally true whenever we were on grass. This 'kheli-kheli' privilege was exclusively reserved for me. Your sprints with whatever you could lay your hands on - chappal, kapra, ball - anything, were the stuff joy is made of. The sweet joy of coming home to a grand reception from you was unparalleled. Whenever I entered the house, I always found you waiting at the door, waiting to jump up and lick me. Your ears used to stand whenever you heard the sound of my bike. If you found the door open, you would sprint out to greet me. If I was still on the bike, you would not leave me till I took you for a ride around Jangpura, much to the delight of passers by.

Your cringing at the sight of food, nakhras with mummy, hiding under the bed or running away stealthily, rubbing your cute little nose on the floor till it bled ............and the lap-lap sound while you lapped up the milk was something we eagerly looked forward to. Your antics with papa when he used to drag you for your morning and post dinner walks, the way you used to hide under bed at the sound of the bells on your leash.. Papa will surely miss those and so will the rest of us.

Your jugalbandi with Nimbu (Nimbus - my mama's Labrador) was like a symphony, he was always trying to tease you and prod you into playing with him, licking you all over till you dripped with his saliva.

The most memorable were your travels with us. You lugged along wherever we went - be it to someone's home, aunts, nani, and anywhere dogs were not prohibited. Most of all, we will miss your daily visits to India Gate and Lodhi Garden. These will never be the same again without you. Your long, excited walks, running after dogs, lolling around in slush till mummy dragged you out, your stubborn refusal to walk if you were on leash, kids trying to play with you, calling you a cute li'l puppy... Ohhh!!!! Those lovely days will never ever come back again.

Your tiny frame, chocolate brown fur, your clipped and manicured feet, those long flappy ears, wet cute nose, mischievous eyes, nice & long moochhees, tiny teeth and the 2 light brown spots over your eyes....where will we get all these now? Probably in heaven when we meet you there. My world came crashing down when mom called up and told me "Nuts chali gayi".

Goodbye Nuts. You lived your life fully and enjoyed each moment. Thank you for all you have done for us. Have a good time in heaven. God needs you more than we do. We will all miss you forever. You are irreplaceable.

Lots and lots of love,
Papa, Mummy, Ajay & Abhijeet

Nuts